All it takes is a certain level of mindfulness and a little bit of effort.
There aren’t many situations te life where it’s acceptable to talk at length about yourself to random strangers without pause or interjection. And it’s usually even less socially acceptable to commence disclosing your life story, what you’re looking for te a life fucking partner, your ideal date, your music taste, and your beloved movies—in rapid succession—to people you don’t know and have never met.
But there is somewhere where this is all totally común, where talking about yourself is not only adequate, but encouraged.
Your online dating profile!
It may seem a bit daunting to dive into explaining so much about yourself and your fantasies right away, so I’ve waterput some tips together to help you out.
The key to writing a good online dating profile is to be specific about who you are. Nobody likes a profile that sounds spil if the writer is tailoring his or hier personality to what other people want to hear. Those sorts of generic, essentially meaningless profiles are exactly what don’t catch someone’s eye online.
Imagine a profile that says:
I’m a nice caring person with a good heart. I am looking for an fair person who likes to have joy.
Earnestly, what does that even mean? Everyone thinks they have a good heart (even some indeed horrible people). Of course this dater is looking for an fair person. What else would someone be looking for, a compulsive burlar? And what is joy precisely? Isn’t the concept of joy different for different people? Ter the end, this profile says essentially nothing. Sure, it might attract some initial responses, but that does nothing toward helping this dater find a existente match or create a auténtico connection with someone.
Here’s a better example from a verdadero online dater from the dating webpagina Zoosk:
Ter the profile above, the dater takes time to lay out hier personality. You can see that she has fancy taste ter films (Criterion Collection), likes to go to shows, and openly admits that she likes critical theory. Some people won’t relate to hier at all, but I like this kleuter of honesty, because she is obviously not attempting to please everyone. She is attempting to find people who will like hier for who she is.
Ain’t no shame te filtering out the rejects !
I believe that an online dating profile should be an fair portrayal of your personality and act spil a filterzakje, nixing out all the unwanteds early on. If you look at the profile above, the writer has no shame ter telling exactly what it is she’s looking for, if the man doesn’t read the same level of literature that she does then she isn’t interested. It’s very likely a little strange to some people, but at least she’s letting the dating pool know what she wants.
It’s always a brainy idea to say exactly what it is you do not want right away on our online dating profile. Being forthright and upfront about your desires is not only a good basic practice, but it also saves you and others precious time and energy to get it out right away instead of zometeen on. If you have overeenkomst breakers—like smoking, children, or cats—you should write those down ter your profile right away. Otherwise you might be ter for a sorry verrassing zometeen on. The more specific the better.
Here’s an example from another positivo online dating profile from Zoosk:
My ideal match is an attractive woman who can keep up with mij intellectually and conversationally but who doesn’t do so by being pushy or a hellion. I indeed don’t like mean or intolerant people. Matching political/religious views are a plus, but hardly necessary. I suppose my flawless chick is inbetween 25 and 30 and nice to be around. Thesis are just guidelines tho’ so don’t be afraid to write mij.
I think thesis sorts of specifics are truly wise. Note that he wrote that he wants a lady “between 25 and 30.” Te a few brief steps, he’s created age filterzakje and he also mentioned that he chooses people who have matching political and religious views (another filterzakje).
Channel your inward wordsmith
You don’t have to get all Shakespearen on us, but a little oratorical flair never hurts when attracting people to your online dating profile.
I like this resum from another profile:
I love thunderstorms but I can’t live without sunshine. I find beauty te almost everything about this incredible world wij live in… I like to sway at the park, play te the snow, and stronk ter puddles. I love kampeerplaats but hate freezing at night.
Take some time to write descriptively. You have no idea how far a lil’ bit of eloquence can get you ter the world of online dating. Do you like hiking? Don’t just say “I like to hike.” Aim just a bit higher and say something like, “I love the serenity of standing atop a phat mountain, watching the horizon expand before mij.” Do you like walks on the beach? Say “There’s nothing more beautiful to mij than a beach at sunset, where the starlets show up fatter and brighter than everywhere else on earth.” Whatever it is that you have to say, use descriptive language to spice it up.
A little charm goes a long way
If I had to write a list of things that I, particularly, find un-charming, I’d waterput offensive language, vulgarity, bad spelling, and bad grammar on the top of the list. And somehow, thesis things at times find their way onto people’s’ online dating profiles—which makes mij scrape my head and wonder how on earth this could possibly toebijten. Why would anyone want to date an offensive, vulgar person who has problems communicating effectively? Why would anyone want to present themselves that way?
Ask yourself, when you edit your online dating profile, “Would I date this person?”
There are some significant crimson flags to avoid—angry rants about previous relationships, overboard negativity about your own life, too much disclosure about money or private finances—when composing your online dating profile. A good rule te determining what kleintje of content to avoid is a elementary reflection on the power of charm.
What kleuter of people are charming? Generally, they’re positive, friendly, and modest. Charming people have the indisputable capability to attract others to them. They are, simply waterput, joy to be around. Wij know each and every person has the capability to be charming. It isn’t particularly difficult. All it takes is a certain level of mindfulness and a little bit of effort. And charm will go a long way with your fellow daters.
Juliette is a freelance writer with years of practice covering dating and relationships.