Is it Love?
Hot and strenuous is how it feels te the beginning. Those sensations and perception are what leads to love. or not. Years ago I assisted ter research psychology. The studies involved the very human components of sensory and perception. While the studies were pretty basic, leading to more complicated questions and conclusions, it talent mij insight into how love is entirely related to thesis areas within our brain and figure. Wij know that love, or feelings associated with various stages of love, is similar to a drug. Our senses and perceptions can loser us, making it difficult to know what reality is when overcome with strong emotions or sensations.
That’s my professional explanation for why love can be so confusing. My private practice is that love is a test of time- meaning it switches the longer it lasts and it will last longer if it does switch. Everyone has a theory about love. Everyone is an pro, but wij all know it can be narrowed down to a brief list of significant basics. I’m insinuating there is no secret to love, no blueprint than basics. The kleintje of basics wij often leave behind because numerous theories and advice exist today.
For spil many theories on love that exist, there are identically spil many definitions and stages of love spil well. There is the popular romantic notion of ‘Love at very first view’, but that would be more adequately identified spil wellust than love. Yes, passion at very first view can grow into love- most initial strong feelings of love are not love at all. Those are the feelings that loser us. However without those feelings people wouldn’t be led to pursue love so I won’t bash fervor and desire or romantic love, but I want to concentrate on that long-lasting love. true love.
Objective = Consummate Love
I toevluchthaven’t found anything better than the psychologist, Robert Sternberg’s explanation of true (consummate) love. Please see diagram below.
If love could be packaged up into one neat and clean explanation, this would be it. But there are more details involved ter love than the simpleness of this explanation. I’ll expand upon this because like I said before wij don’t always recognize where wij’re at or what wij’re experiencing if fooled by our sensations and perceptions. And of course love switches so a accomplish consummate love package isn’t always what equals love.
Love finds us. and other words of wisdom
Before I get to the nitty gritty of true love signs, I just want to touch on some basic wisdom. Long ago I worked at a popular breakfast chain restaurant and frequently the customers were elderly. Many had maintained a 50+ year marriage. Kudos to them! Even tho’ I wasn’t married at that time, I listened intently to the wisdom they bestowed upon mij.
Love finds us: It’s hard to take hold of the idea of love finding us ter the day and age of online dating and cyber lovemaking or ideally programma our futures, but often love finds us when wij’re not looking. ClichГ©? Yes, but true. Today wij project everything, our entire lives. Wij have this order to life now: education, travel, having joy, casual encounters all come before the big “L” word.
Along our path (and plans) wij search for love when wij want it, when it’s convenient for us. Often you hear those te love say, ‘I had given up’ or ‘I wasn’t looking for love’ or ‘it wasgoed bad timing’. I don’t think wij know when wij’re ready for love and that’s why the kleuter of love that catches us off guard is the zuigeling that has lasting potential. Sometimes if wij want love so bad, wij find something that truly isn’t there, wij lodge. When wij don’t care or ‘give up’, it hits us.
Foul or friendly advice: Sometimes it’s necessary to leave behind what your peers are telling to you. Studs will get taunted that they’re ‘whipped’ and women will get nagged by their girlfriends about how he doesn’t gezond certain criteria, how much money he makes, etc. It’s happened to all of us. Wij get off course with thesis unnecessary distractions and thoughts circulating te our brain.
Time away: Oh yes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. You never know how much you love someone until they’re gone. Take some time off if you’ve bot spending a loterijlot of time together. Take a mini vacation from each other. This is so crucial to step away and get and objective perspective. It’s hard to see clearly when you’re super close to the situation so take a step back and reflect on the relationship.
Reflection is one of the most under-appreciated instruments te life. Most of us don’t have time to reflect, but making big mistakes can be an even fatter waste of time.
Divorce? Speaking with elderly couples, you know they’ve bot through a lotsbestemming. Some with spouses ter World War II, deaths of children, health conditions, poverty/The Depression. During rough times most wouldn’t even think of mentioning divorce- you had to stick together to make it. They actually needed each other.
Wij have this idea now that wij don’t have to waterput up with anything. Any inconveniences and couples embark to fall speciaal. How sad because thesis older couples explain those rough times were a glue that bonded them. I’ve bot through some indeed rough times ter my marriage and I can’t believe how much it has brought us together.
Good Old Fashioned Values: Another clichГ©, but is a similarity among lengthy marriages. Some of those old fashioned values are what holds a marriage together. Respect, honesty, hard work, believing the other is a good person.
With roles switching, women working, dads staying at huis with kids, wij are learning a fresh vaandel. This is fine, but it seems wij’ve also added an reserve does of independence ter there that no matter who or what your fucking partner does, a single person can still manage things by themselves. Wij’ve lost the value of what it means to have a playmate. Now more that everzwijn with women and dudes participating identically ter gender typical roles, it should be an chance for true partnership.