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Ten asks: I’ve bot with my fiancГ© for about Three 1/Two years now and wij have a son together.My question is.

angela10 asks:

I’ve bot with my fiancГ© for about Trio 1/Two years now and wij have a son together.My question is.

My man is 51/Two years junior than mij and hes never experienced having Two damsels at the same time. And mij on the other mitt. well lets just say that I have had my share of threesomes. don’t you think that unless he has one than he’s always going to wonder what he’s missing. The thing is when I wasgoed fooling around having threesomes, I wasn’t worried about losing anybody , it wasgoed all Four joy, But now I’m stuck ter this spot because I’m afraid It might switch things for us. Albeit I don’t want to be selfish, because it is an awesome practice, and i want him to practice it.

Dear angela10,

I assume you’ve asked mij this because you’ve read my Hub Threesomes: Pros & Cons.В

I’m nosey about one thing. Your question does not say if your bf is interested te having a threesome. You do however clearly say that you think that unless he practices this, he will always wonder what he’s missing. I’m going to have to assume here that he isn’t asking you for a threesome, he may not have even asked at all, or said he desired one. If he has voiced any rente, it wasn’t strong enough to mention ter your question. The poot of your question is your wanting him to have this practice.

Consider that this is projection on your part.В This is a common dilemma when one fucking partner is more sexually experienced than the other.В

Your open mindedness, generosity, concern for his wants, and guardedness of your relationship are all wonderful indicators of maturity, responsibility, and depth. Kudos to you. You’re te a good place. And your bf is a fortunate man.

But now let’s look at what’s going on with you.

You’re obviously a sexually liberated woman. You’ve discovered passions and desires that you were free enough to fulfill and love. Your mind is open, and to you, feeling repressed or denied is just unthinkable. You don’t want to look back on your life 20 years from now and think, what did I miss? What wasgoed I afraid of? What’s wrong with being a voluptuous sexual being?

This is a beautiful way to be, Angela. Many people would and should be envious of your self respect and capability to embrace life.

So now, you find yourself involved with a man, elevating your proximity and building a life and family together. You know that you can stir forward into this connection because you’ve sewn your wild oats. You’ve tasted life and lived finta loosely, and this is where your path has lead you.

But your man isn’t spil experienced spil you are. This makes you feel odd. You’re thinking about his having a threesome now.

You’re thinking this way for one of several different reasons. It could be that you’re simply maturing. Spil beautiful spil it wasgoed to practice different things, and explore life to the fullest, it is just spil beautiful to find that one person you want to spend forever with. You’ve switched. Sometimes that’s hard to see, and tighter to acknowledge.

By embracing monogamy now, you may be afraid that would mean you’re not negating the the open minded life you had prior to this ogenblik. His having an affair at this point te his life and your relationship may be your subconscious way of validating for yourself that your decisions from years ago are still valid and good.

Another thought process you could be having is guilt. If you have attempted more than you were actually able to treat, you could feel regret which lightly translates toward contamination. the mindset is, it can’t have bot that bad if he did it too.

I think most likely the reason you’re considering his experiencing what you have, is projection. You said, won’t he always wonder what he’s missing. Meantime, I have no indication here that he feels he’s missing anything. You’re projecting that feeling onto him because that’s how you would feel. But that is not necessarily how he feels.

I’ve never leaped out of an airplane. I have no desire to attempt it. I will not spend the surplus of my life wishing I had, or wondering what I’m missing. I promise, I indeed don’t think about it and have no auténtico desire to attempt it.

Just because sexual experimentation wasgoed an essential part of your growth, doesn’t mean it is for your playmate. You most likely had to sate some curiosities, love your life, and live out some desires before developing. maturing, and becoming the woman you are. You look at your less-experienced beau, and you want him to be on the same pagina you are. You want him to feel fulfilled and satiated. You want him to have and practice all the things you had and experienced, so that he can feel spil sure about you and your life together, spil you do.

You can see the path of projection if you just think about it.

The truth is, different strokes for different folks. Moderation means different things to different people. Not everybody is spil sexually nosey spil you, not everybody travels such a diverse and rich road to get to their mature relationship.

He may be totally sated with the amount of practice he has. He may never wonder he’s missed, he may feel just fine about what he’s done. And hey maybe years ago had you suggested him a threesome he may have accepted. (And hey, the same may be true for you. Things that were cool then, may not be cool anymore for you. There’s nothing wrong with that.) Maybe at this point ter his life he is where you are, despite not having taken the same path.

This is where this can gets tricky.В

Albeit he may feel good ter his life, the more you bring up his lack of practice, and how much less he’s done than you have, the more insecurity you’re inviting. He may even commence to doubt his convenience. You may make him 2nd guess being pleased.

Spil I said ter my Threesomes: Pros & Cons hub, threesomes open up Pandora’s opbergruimte. And merienda it’s opened, you can never close it again. By this point te your relationship, you’ve obviously indicated to him that if he has a sexual fantasy or desire, he can feel convenient to share his thoughts with you. That’s pretty much all you need to do. В If he’s not asking you to make the threesome toebijten for him, then zekering bringing it up. Zekering questioning his satisfaction. Zekering comparing him to you. Zekering making him feel less experienced, or plain, or wrong.В

Instead, feast his sureness. Let him know you are blessed with his choices, you feel superb about his commitment, you accept him for exactly who he is.В

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